Sunday, September 12, 2010

Ba. Freshman!

Someone please kill me before my Chemistry class does! At least if I die now I’ll still have an A in the class. How that will help me when I’m dead….I have no idea. But it would make me feel better!
Can I just say BUYI is a much different place when you are married? It is like I’m not a person unless I’m talking to a girl or another married couple. Most guys just won’t talk to me at all! Example #1: I was in the gym lifting weights and I had my army sweats on that I earned in my military fitness class. I went to the cages to I could do hanging crunches but they we all full. A big black guy was finishing up on the end so I went to wait for his cage. He and I started talking about my sweats, how they were army and the military fitness class. I was having fun talking to him but then I reached up with my left hand to climb up to the straps and he saw my ring. He literality stopped mid-sentence and walked away. I had no idea what I had done to tick him off so badly that he justified being that rude. Then I looked up at my hand and saw my ring. When I told Andrew he just laughed at me. Latter when it got closer to school Andrew confessed that he felt bad for me because I wouldn’t have any friends this semester. I looked at him in shock then punched his arm as hard as I could. In desperation to avoid another punch that was aimed at the same spot as before, he shouted that it was because I hardly ever made friend with girls and that all the guys wouldn’t want to talk to me anymore because I was married. I hoped he didn’t know what he was talking about but the first day of school proved that he know more about the male intellect than I gave him credit for. Example #2: I was in the BYUI book store and I started talk to a guy who was waiting in line to check out. An old high school friend came up and put his arm up to give me a hug then stopped and did something really odd that morphed his hug into high five/hand shake as he said “HEY You!.....yooooour married! Oh yeah….” Then he walked off leaving me with the baffled guy that I was talking to. The guy looked at me, turned and said “Well, see ya.” And went back to staring at the back of the head of who ever was in front of him. BA! What had just happened!? And here I had thought I had made a friend. I turned around and started to walk off, sad and friendless. But then I saw Andrew, walked up to him, and received the biggest bestest hug ever. I just love that man!
The only classes I have friends in are my Math 110 class where I got in a group with two engaged guys, my Nutrition class where I made friends with the girl in front of me because the teacher partnered us up, and in the hall where I met a very nice young man. He and I started talking and he didn’t even flinch when I mentioned that I was waiting for my husband. It made my day that I could make at least one guy friend while being married! In my Psychology class I walked into the room with a newly high school graduated 18 year old girl. She looked at me in disgust and said “Oh my gosh, your married too?! Gosh everyone gets married so young here! It’s just stupid!” I was taken aback and quite confused, the way she had said that made it sound if she were married as well and then was dissing on it. I asked her how old she was and she said that she was 18; I then replied that I was 21. She gaped at me “There is no was that your 21! How the heck could you be 21?! That’s impossible!” I held back the sarcastic reply that I was born 21 years ago and that’s how I could be 21 and that yes, it was very possible. She went on to criticize her roommate who had started dating a boy within the week she had been in Rexburg. Then to my shock she wheeled around and started picking out boys in the class who she thought was cute. I’d turn to me on every one that she pointed out and asked me if I thought that they were engaged or married as if I was some kind of expert on the subject. I mentioned that I like the shoes of the girl who was sitting in front of us and she went off again on how much competition there was on campus and how I had no idea how hard it was to be a single girl on campus because I was married and out of touch. I just looked at her and wanted to ask her if she knew who she was talking to! Ba. Freshman.
This Saturday was my nephew Andrew’s baptism. He wanted to be baptized in Bear Lake at ten in the morning. My Andrew was asked to be a witness and was very worried about having to get in the lake because it would be so cold. The high temperature for the week was in the 60’s so the water had to be colder. Andrew and I had so much homework Friday night we couldn’t go down until Saturday morning. It’s a three and a half hour drive from our house to the lake. So at five in the morning Andrew and I pried ourselves out of bed and in to our Sunday clothes. I volunteered to drive first because I had a spectacular headache and wouldn’t have been able to fall back asleep in the car even if I had of wanted to. As I was driving through Blackfoot a skunk sprinted right in front of me. I mused with the idea of flooring the gas pedal but then though Andrew might get a bit upset with me if he woke up to that smell. So I let the skunk pass. We got to the church right on time, then we drove down to the lake. I felt the water and both My Andrew, my nephew Andrew, and my brother-in-law Jason had every right to want to stay on the beach. As it turned out My Andrew didn’t have to go in so he was ok. But my poor Brother-in-law and nephew! When my nephew went under the water he all but sprung out and latched himself to his father’s chest. His face was so funny that no one who was watching could hold back a chuckle. He looked like someone had just very unexpectedly attacked him with a bucket of ice. Jason carried him back to the beach where two warm towels were waiting for him. Before I was baptized everyone told me I would feel a warm comforting feeling as I went under the water. In my nephew Andrew’s case I honestly don’t think he felt warm and comforted at all when he was submerged. I’ll bet he felt something more like shock and panic! The rest of the service was wonderful, My Andrew and I really enjoyed it even though we had to leave as soon as it was finished so that we could get home in time to do some more homework. I ended up reading my Chemistry book on the way back in the car. I was too confused to even worry about getting car sick as I read. So I guess that’s a good thing….?
Well Andrew always gives me crap for writing so much so I think I’ll call it quits for now…. Well wait. I just heard that Andrew is writing about his version of our dating life. I don’t think he ever tells the story quite right to I’m going to set the record straight. We first met in the Hinckley building on campus. It was Sunday afternoon and I had just finished up with a presidency meeting. I was bored stiff waiting for my roommates in the foyer. Another girl and I started to rate guy’s ties as they walked by. We saw a group of young men over in the corner by the door and went to work putting their ties in ranking order. There were yellow ties, red ties, striped ties, and then there was this super cool blueish greenish tie! We instantly ranked it number one as the best tie we’d seen that day. We were sitting by a pumpkin that had an amazing picture of President Monson etched in it. I think the group of guys heard us talking about their ties and walked over to us with the excuse of looking at the pumpkin. We told the young man with the amazing tie that he should win a prize for good taste. Then the young man with the yellow tie asked me where I was from. It turned out that he knew my sister and he and I talked for the rest of the time. I tried not to be rude to the other guys and gave some effort to including them into the conversation but it mostly stayed between the yellow tie guy and I. My roommates then came out so I got up to leave. On my way out the door the young man with the prize winning tie followed after me[I didn’t follow after her...] and said that we should hang out and asked for my number. I had given out my number twice already that day but I figured each time I gave it out I could at least get two free meals out of it. It was an effective way of cutting my grocery bill by more than half. During the past month I hadn’t had to buy or make lunch or dinner once because I always had a date set up. I’d get to know the cool tie guy then go on a date then I’d be finished, without another worry. So I gave him my number. We texted off and on throughout the week planning for our date to be on Friday but half way through the week a friend invited me to get a date and come with her and her husband to come to the Hunted Mill that Friday. I hate scary things but I said yes anyways. I shot Andrew (the cool tie guy) a text and he sounded really excited.  BA! So the date was on.
It looks like Andrew is waiting to write about the Hunted Mill date so I will too. Just to make sure he is telling it right. 

Memories of the Past... (As they really happened!) Part 1

So, I decided I wanted to write about things that pre-date the creation of this blog. And if I write them, then it will be my version of events that are recorded and can be referred back to in a time of question. So, let’s say, 10 years from now, Erin wants to tell a story, but forgets (or fudges) the details, a quick search can pull up the “real” account of what happened. Genius, I know…
So what should we start with? The beginning? Sure. Erin and I’s first meeting and the proceedings:
So early in the October 2009, I was leaving church with a few other guys in my Elders Quorum. As we walked down the stairs in the Hinckley Building I saw a pretty girl sitting in the foyer with a friend. Having a goal to take a different girl out each weekend, I thought I might get my weekly quota in a little early; so, I lead the group across the room to say hello. This girl introduced herself as Erin, and complimented my tie. It was a good start I thought, but things got a little less than opportunistic when the conversation quickly became a game of “do you know…” with Erin and one of the guys in the group who lived locally. However, there was something about the lingering looks from this gorgeous girl that kept me interested. Then, as her ride was leaving, the time came for the bold invitations I was accustomed to only been off my mission for 2 months. I told Erin that her and I needed to hang out sometime (to which she agreed), and asked her for her number. I quickly entered it in my phone and she left. The guys who were still with me, turned and said: “Wow, Jarvis. That was bold. Nice work.”
During the week we texted off and on. We planned to go out Friday night, and I would plan out everything. But on Thursday, she texted me and asked if I wanted to go with her and a few friends to the Haunted Mill on Friday. Oh that was a lot of fun…. But we’ll save that for the next entry.

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Pepe Le Pew

What is Labor Day even a holiday for? Celebrating that fact that people work, by closing all the schools and important stores for that day? I’m sorry America, but that makes no sense.
We have been so excited to start school again but as it gets closer I just want to jump ship and keep playing. Sadly, even I have to do my time and I should be positive about it. It’s like how children should be positive about getting hepatitis shots so they don’t die, but they can always be heard screaming in pain after the doctor lies that they won’t feel the enormous needle jab into their arm and inject them with the vaccine. I’m just say’n…. Wow, I’m sarcastic today. Ha ha it’s kinda fun.
So this past week has been a bit of a blur. My friend from Washington moved into her apartment a few weeks early so Andrew and I stopped in to say hi and fix her internet connection. While we were there she was reminded that her birthday was coming up by her mother on the phone. She had completely forgotten and was the only one in her apartment. Andrew and I didn’t want her to be alone on her birthday or have to plan her own party so we told her not to make any plans and that we would take care of it. We thought tin foil dinners, marshmallows, cake, a movie would be great! Wednesday came and so did the wind. It was gale force by the time Allison came over. We thought a fire in that weather and dry fields all around us were a bad mix. I thought that it was very possible to do foil dinners in the oven. Andrew googled it and we set to work. Our dinners look like masterpieces even though they were yet to be cooked. We popped them in the in and stood around looking at each other. If we had of been outside making dinner we would be roasting marshmallows or playing with the kittens. As we were confined to indoor activities we were somewhat at a loss for something to do. I asked Allison if she would like to watch a movie or play a card game or something. She and I went through our movies and she picked a scary one. At first I was worried. I don’t do scary movies at all. But since most of my other plans had fallen through I figured I could handle it. Andrew was very perturbed. “How come SHE can get you to watch a scary movie but I can’t?! I’M you husband!” Andrew loves scary movies but hasn’t seen any since we started dating because I refused to be freaked out for the rest of the night. Half way through the beeper went off for our food. It was far from finished and we ended up having to cook everything individually. After the scary movie (which wasn’t scary at all) and dinner we went in town for the movie we had planned on from the start, Dinner for Schumcks. It was unbelievably awkward! I wanted to die the whole time! But it was really funny! It is a remake from a French movie call The Dinner Game. I had seen the French version years ago and loved it. The American version was pretty farfetched but it was still funny.
That night we lost the kittens. Every night we go and lock the kittens up so that they don’t get eaten by bigger animals. It was about midnight when we got out there and there were no kittens to be seen. We looked everywhere, calling as loud as we dare that late at night but still couldn’t find them. The next morning Andrew and I went jogging and spotted two little kittens under our neighbor’s car. I guess they were lost even though they were less than a hundred yards away from our house. Crazy cats. The next night we could only find Meekus. Andrew was showering so I set out to find Mittens myself. I’m not sure why I was walking around with a cup full of water outside …but I was. I heard a noise in the grass and saw something that looked like a big cat. If it was a tom cat it would try to kill the kittens and I instantly got protective. I started yelling at the cat and threw the entire cut of water at it. In the darkness I didn’t immediately see that cat had a single white stripe that started at its nose and went clear to its tail. As the skunk ran from the tall grass I did a superman jump backward. It ran toward the field in the back of our property and I sprinted to the house. I burst inside and started screaming for Andrew to come kill the skunk. He came out of the bathroom all fresh and clean and just looked at me like I was insane. I told him he could shower again but then he pointed out that we don’t even have a gun. I sighed and gave up. The skunk pretending to be a cat would live to see another day. We found Mittens in the morning over at the neighbors again. We think she got stuck up in their garage hunting pigeons. Crazy cat had no idea that she had almost made me a target of skunk spray. BA!
I’m in a new salon now. It is only one door over from my old place but it’s a lot bigger and more conducive to working as a stylist. The only problem was that the booth I’m at was almost completely unfurnished. It had a chair, mirror, and a shampoo sink which got me as wet as the people I was shampooing. There was no counter to put my tools or product on. Andrew and I hunted all over to find a display cabinet for my retail and a shelf for my tools and a book case to but my color, wax, and product I use and towels. We found everything at Ikea! It is going to look great once we get everything set up but buying everything about killed me. To top it off I broke into a new product line and restocked my current retail. I spent so much money that I almost had a break down. Thank goodness Andrew was there! He just kept reminding me that this was an investment and that I would make back twice as much as I spent. I know he is right but I never want to spend money again! I bet my mother would have liked to hear me say that when I use to spend her money. Dramatic moment! Then we sped back to Rexburg so that Andrew could give plasma. I couldn’t go with him cause I hadn’t eaten hardly anything all day. When I went last week I hadn’t eaten very much before hand and I almost passed out three different times and was sick for the rest of the day. Oh the joys of newly married college life. Here’s hoping we don’t die!

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

It's raining cats and..... cats?

Wow! We have had quite the last couple of weeks! First off, Andrew and I got addicted (very, very addicted) to the TV series called Heroes. For those of you that have seen the show LOST, you will understand. You just have to keep watching and if you miss any of the last episodes you have no hope of understanding anything else in the series. We made it through the first season on Netflix in about five days. Any spare time was dedicated to that show. The second season wasn’t as good and by the time we got to the third season we just wanted the show to end. Finally at the end of the third season it gave us an ending that we could end with and we turned it off before the fourth season could even start. It’s nice to be able to get back to life.
Andrew and my mother finally consented to letting me get a pet (Andrew and I are living in my parents’ house while they are on their mission, so any new furry residents have to be cleared by them too). We decided that we couldn’t handle the time commitment it took to raise a puppy right now but that a kitten might not be so bad. Andrew said he hates cats but would put up with one if I really wanted. I did, so he and I searched Craig’s List for free kittens. We found some that seemed to be the perfect age to try and survive life out on the farm. I figured one kitten would get lonely and bored when we started up classes, so I pleaded with Andrew to get two kittens. He said he didn’t care as long as he didn’t have to mess with them much. We went to Walmart and got two little cat toys, two flea/flea egg/mosquito collars and cat food. I was so excited! We had arranged to the family to meet us at a gas station close to our house for a kitten drop. When I had talked to the people with the kittens I asked them to bring their most durable kitten due to the dangers for cats that live out in Hibbard. They brought a boy kitten with black and white spots and a girl kitten that looked like a gray tiger but had pointy tuffs of fur on the tips of her ears making her look as though she were part Links or Bobcat. We bought them home and put the collars on them. I have never seen something so spasmatic in my life. They would be walking or playing with the toys we got them, then suddenly flip around and try to either itch their collar off or bite them off. It was too close to their head for them to be able to bite it so they looked completely ridiculous! Don’t worry I made sure that the collars weren’t too tight. Andrew named the boy Meekus , like off of the movie Zoolander. And I named the girl Mittens, off of the movie Blot. They are such funny kittens and even softened Andrew’s heart. He actually admitted that he liked them!
Oh the stories I could tell about those cats…. Once I was standing out on our deck with Andrew. He and I were facing each other and I was wearing somewhat flowy pajama pants. There was a slight breeze that blew the legs of my pants back and forward. (I was so unaware to the danger I was in from the prowling kitten, whom was stalking ever closer.) Andrew and I were in conversation when in mid sentence I let out a piercing scream of shock and pain. It felt like little knifes had been systematically plunged into my upper calf! Then the knifes started to leap higher up my leg! I collapsed and smashed the maniacal Meekus who was still attempting to attack the ruffling pajama pants. Poor Andrew had no idea that the kitten had just tried to rid the world of my flowy pants (and my right leg along with it). He had just been deafened by my ear splitting scream and witnessed an attempt on our new kitten’s life. Meekus and Andrew now sat there looking at me as if I was the one who was crazy! It was all too much and broke down laughing. I laughed till tears were streaming down my face and Andrew still had no idea what had just happened! When I could breathe again I told Andrew what his kitten had done. We laughed for another three minutes.
Last Sunday Andrew and I were sitting out on our deck with the kittens watching the sun set. It was so peaceful and quiet. Then out of nowhere there was a high pitch cry of a kitten. We looked down at the kittens snuggled up on our laps. The cry came again but it wasn’t from our cats. We got up and started following the noise. It lead us out to an old two level play house in the trees of our back yard. I hadn’t been inside it for years and the latter to the upper level had long since been destroyed. In its place was a flimsy little metal latter. The cry was coming from somewhere in the top of the play house and the kitten that was admitting the cries sounded as if it were in pain. I climbed up the wobbly latter into the top section through countless spider webs. Once I was in the top I looked around. It was defiantly where the cries were coming from but there was no kitten to be seen. The only thing in there, other than me, was a wooden play stove. I bent down and tried to lose the latch on the oven. The cries started to come faster and more desperately but for the life of me I couldn’t get the rusty latch open. I pulled the oven away from the wall and found that there was no back to the oven. I looked inside and saw a little fuzzy kitten no bigger than a mouse edging around the inside of the wooden oven. I scooped it up and gave it to Andrew so I could get out of the spider infested play house. We warmed up a rice bag and created a bed for the kitten. This calmed it down a considerable amount but it was still crying. We guessed it was hungry. I knew we shouldn’t give it cow milk because that kind of milk would give a kitten diarrhea to the point of killing it. (I had tried it without knowing what would happen before and to my terror I had watched the kitten I was trying to save die.) We jumped on Facebook and sent out an SOS. Then we called our neighbors who might have had to save a kitten or two in their time living out in Hibbard. We were told that in a pinch cow milk would work but that in the morning we should try to get a kitten formula. I started feeding it warm cow milk while Andrew got back on Facebook. He found that my friend had posted a web site for new born kitten care. According to the web site we needed to feed it ever three to four hours and help it defecate. Bla. Andrew did not want to get up in the middle of the night to take care of the kitten, so I took the night watch. By morning I wanted the kitten in someone else’s loving care. I was exhausted. I sent a mass text out and one of my friends sent me a number to one of her friend who might be able to help. I called right away! The girl said that her cat had just had a batch of kittens and it might be close to the same age. With any luck her mother cat would adopt the kitten and raise it like her own. We immediately jumped in the car and sped over to her house. The second we put the kitten in with the other kittens it stopped crying (it was the first time it had shut up in nine hours). The mother cat came over and started licking the kitten like it had been hers all along. Andrew and I were so relieved. When we got home we went out to Meekus and Mittens. We sat there and just petted them, thrilled that they weren’t crying at the top of their lungs.
Yesterday Andrew and I were sitting in to living room looking out the window at the back yard. I was messing with something when Andrew said in an odd voice “I think the kittens are twenty feet up in that tree….” Apparently Andrew had seen a dark shape out of the corner of his eye. He had thought that it was a really big bird but then he looked closer and saw that the “bird” looked a lot like Meekus…. That the bird was Meekus and right below him was Mittens! They were almost all the way up a tree and Mittens was trying to climb down head first. She kept almost falling but catching herself right before she went plummeting to the ground. Meekus was frozen in place, clinging to the tree for dear life. I honestly think that cat is scared of heights. Andrew and I rushed outside to catch Mittens if she really did fall. Then we tried to get Meekus down. There was no way that he would retract his claws that he had deeply set in the tree. Andrew tried everything he could think of but he ended up barrowing the neighbors latter (that was too short) and half climbed up the tree to rip Meekus from the top branches. That night I think I figured out what they were doing up the tree in the first place. I went out on our deck to put the kittens away for the night (so that they wouldn’t get eaten by skunk, tom cats, dog, or coyotes) and saw that the deck was covered with feathers. Meekus was already asleep in the big dog box/kennel we had converted into their bed. Mittens came running up a trail of feathers floating off of her. Now the score is even. Meekus caught a mouse and Mittens got a bird… here’s hoping she’ll stick to birding on the ground instead of trying to catch them in the trees!